Can you believe it?

Yes, you saw correctly, my name has jumped to the top of your blog list and I'm actually posting something on this wasteland of a blog! For a long time, this place was haunting me and making me feel all kinds of guilty for neglecting it, but considering that it's been four months since I've posted, I was able to get over that a bit. Honestly, I've realized that this blog is just not serving the purpose that it originally did. So, I apologize if that has been disappointing to anyone.

So why am I on here now? I don't really know. There are SO MANY STINKING THINGS that I need to update on here, but there's no way I'm going to be able to give each item it's due attention. In thinking about this blog's function in my life, one thing it helped me do initially was report on the progress I was making in my weight loss journey 2+ years ago. Well, I'm at it again.

When I reached my goal weight in the fall of 2009, I think I admitted outloud somewhere that my fear was that I would gain the weight back. I had made a lot of healthy lifestyle changes, so I didn't want to think that it could happen... but amazingly, life happens and things change sometimes. When we were putting in a lot of work into improving and selling the house (which went nowhere by the way), I wanted to be training for the spring triathlon again, but painted the entire upstairs instead. Then, I trained for the Ragnar Relay again and as the Red Rock Relay had done, it wiped out all motivation to keep running after that point. I will not be doing another one of those races again any time soon. Any race that makes you feel like you never want to run again, is not a good idea for me until I get to a much higher fitness level than I was last year at racetime.

So the result? Over the past 15-16 months, I've just not been very careful. I've not had any big weight gain jumps, but you know, gaining 1-1.5 lbs a month for a long period of time, you end up 25 lbs heavier than you want to be! All along the way, I would think to myself, "Self, just lose it again... you know what to do! It's only 8 lbs." But then, 8 lbs turned to 12-15 lbs, and then 15-18 lbs, and somehow, the motivation to really restrict my diet and get it done wasn't there. When I initially lost the weight, I was dealing with the emotional issue of newfound infertility. The wound was new and the exercise and healthy focus was healing for me. Thankfully, those emotions have settled over the last 3 years. Unfortunately, I've come to realize that my emotions (especially negative emotions) are a very powerful tool in my life! I clean very efficiently when I'm upset!

So now that I'm not obsessing over having another child, what am I gonna do to get motivated again?! I'm definitely not going to pray for another trial in my life just so I can get back down to a size 8! And then I heard about stickk.com from a colleague/friend of mine. What a concept! This friend of mine has recently lost over 30 lbs and when I asked what he had changed this time, he mentioned the role stickk.com had played for him.

Basically, stickk is a goal setting website based on some research of some Ivy League professor dude who knows something about the economics of achieving goals. When someone sets a goal, has a support system and then puts something at stake, they are more likely to achieve their goal. Makes sense, right? My friend made a commitment to lose 1 lb a week for 10 weeks and every week he failed, the website would charge his credit card $10 and at the end of the commitment, they would send it to the Jason Chaffetz for Congress campaign... which made me laugh because I really like Jason Chaffetz, a lot! But my friend doesn't!

Then I realized that there IS something that I have a lot of negative emotions about! POLITICS!!! and more specifically... BARACK OBAMA!!!! I really can't stand the guy one little bit and think he's a terrible leader for our country. I know I'm not alone in this in my primary circle of friends (but that doesn't mean I exclude those sympathetic to Obama's policies!). I thought to myself, "Self, the last thing you want to do right now is be a fatty that contributes to the 2012 Obama campaign." So, I decided to do it and commit!

On Thursday of this week, I made the commitment to also lose 1 lb a week for the next 10 weeks. If on Thursday I have not lost a pound, they will charge my credit card $10. At the end of the 10 weeks, they'll send that money to my colleague/friend (who loves Obama), who will then make a contribution to Obama's campaign. Doesn't the thought just make you sick!? It does me! I've set Paul up to be my referee, so he's going to keep me honest.

When I posted something about this on facebook, a couple of my democrat-leaning friends commented about disapproving of my methods and wanting to sabotage my efforts. Apparently this is offensive to them. If this offends you, please know that this is less about Obama, and more about me losing weight! It's about motivation. And so far, it's working! I've actually tracked my points over the last 3 days and hit the gym for a 60 minute workout on the treadmill, even though I was freaking tired the other night.

So, I guess, this little blog of mine might have a small little purpose in my life again. Though I won't promise... I may make an effort to update on my progress. I fully intend to NOT send ANY money to Obama! Any sabotage is unwelcome (send money to Obama yourself if you love him so much!) and all support is appreciated!!