Remembering Brian

I had to cry myself to sleep the other night and wearing mascara has been a bad idea for the last couple of days. On Tuesday afternoon, I got home from work and jumped on facebook for a minute. I saw an old high school friend had commented to another friend some condolenses and something about his wife and child. Without reading all that he said, I jumped onto Brian's wall-page and saw this headline:

"North Van dad-to-be's final act saves family" next to this picture.


Following my initial gasp, I began crying almost immediately because this is my friend, Brian Raymond Wood.

Brian and Erin were in a car accident on Whidbey Island when an drugged-up 21-year-old swerved over the center line into oncoming traffic while taking off her sweater. At the last second, Brian hit the brakes and turned the car right in order to take the full impact of the collision. This action crushed the car and killed him instantly, but protected his wife and unborn baby. Erin is due with their first child in early November. I'm devastated.

Though Brian and I haven't had a lot of contact in the last 11 years, the way I describe our relationhip is "close." At one point way back when, we were more than friends, but never boyfriend and girlfriend. We would have never been compatible as a couple, but we were friends that truly loved each other. As was appropriate, we fell out of touch when I got married right after college. Occasional emails and a couple phone calls were shared, but otherwise, I knew very little about his doings for several years. But the day I found out he was engaged to Erin, I stalked their wedding website often hoping to get to know more about the woman who would make him supremely happy. I was and am SO happy that he found her!

For my own benefit, and for those that knew Brian when I did, and even for Erin to see a snapshot of her husband before she knew him through the eyes of someone who cared very much for him, I want to describe my relationship and history with Brian.

Brian and I met and had classes together in Jr. High. We became better friends by the time we were freshman in high school. It didn't take long for me to develop a crush on him that continued throughout that year, despite the fact he had a girlfriend. He was a cutie, even back then. I have so many memories of Brian from that year, memories you wouldn't normally have if you weren't paying 'ilikeyouwhydon'tyoulikeme' attention to someone! Ultimately though, I remember his smile and friendliness, even before we became closer friends.

Throughout high school, we had TONS of classes together, were in the plays and musicals together, and sang in the choirs together. But our friendship grew stronger during our senior year. I had a pretty psycho boyfriend that year and Brian was often there for me when I was confused or frustrated about stuff. I was also there for him when one of his mentors had committed suicide. We would talk a lot, hang out, sing, and tease each other. Brian would play his guitar for me after we'd rehearse for our graduation song audition. But the most memorable experience I had with Brian that year was playing the main leads together in 'The Pajama Game'. Brian played Sid Sorokin, and I was Babe Williams. We had so much fun playing these parts!

"Married life is lots of fun... Two can sleep as cheap as one!"

Here are some pictures of Brian and some of my other close guy-friends at graduation.



During the summer after graduation, things finally exploded with that previously mentioned psycho boyfriend and thankfully, Brian was there for me again. I was not-so-patiently waiting to head off to college at Utah State, but since it was on a trimester system at the time, I didn't start until mid September. Thankfully, Brian was still around so we could still hang out. But even after we both went our separate ways, me to Logan, Utah and he to Oberlin College in Ohio, we were in frequent contact... daily emails and often multiple emails a day. It was AMAZING the support I received from him. When I got my first guitar that Christmas, I named it "Sid" in Brian's honor. We even sent care packages to each other once. The one he sent me included this bear that Canon is holding in this picture at least 8 years later:


Sorry, I know that's totally random. Anyway, I believed in him and he believed in me. He always ended his emails with, "forever".

Brian finished school earlier than I did that next spring and even came out to Utah to visit me for about a week around Memorial Day weekend. He stayed at my friend's house at night, but hung out and went to classes with me during the week. He made fun of how 'dumbed down' my chemistry 101 class was and told me I could have gone to a harder college. I agree, that class was lame, but I can guarantee that USU did challenge me enough when it mattered! Neuropathology, much? Yeah. I think the week he visited was possibly the first time I'd purchased a green pepper and used it to cook a meal... he taught me how to make yummy fajitas!

That following school year, Brian transferred to Lawrence University and our communication with each other became less. We began not needing each other as much. But I would see him and hang out over Christmas breaks. Let's see, a random memory includes driving to a Shadows reunion together and him telling me I was wearing more make-up than usual. We'd catch up and talk about everything under the sun, including religion, the relationships we were or had been in, what our plans were for life. We were SO DIFFERENT from each other, but it didn't really matter to our friendship. I sometimes wondered in Brian and I could ever make a legitimate couple, but I think we both knew we couldn't. Which was fine, but because we were just a little "more than friends", everything changed our junior year of college. I'd behaved badly concerning Brian over Christmas break that year and then later when I began dating my future husband, Paul, we almost completely lost touch. It happens... life moves on, people evolve and carve their path in life; and relationships change, but the memories and love stay with you.

And that's again, why I was so happy when Brian met and married Erin. Brian was admittedly horrible at keeping in touch with me via email, but I knew he was so happy living his life with his true love. I was thrilled the day I found him on facebook, but he wasn't ever very 'newsy'. Most of his status updates were about how fast he ran 6km that morning, but it was nice to know he was there. It was fun to congratulate him on running his first half marathon this year and occasionally he'd comment on one of my updates about running.

Anyway, ultimately, I want to send out my thoughts and prayers to those of us who knew this wonderful man. We are all experiencing a huge loss. I'm sad he won't be here to help raise his baby. I'm aching to imagine what kind of strength it will take for Erin to pick up the pieces and redefine herself without him. She is living my worst nightmare. I want her to know that I truly care about her and her little one. And I want to thank her for helping my friend find joy in this life. I honor Brian and his love for Erin. He was a beautiful human being in life and a true hero in death. Brian, until we meet again, I will truly miss you.

"Forever"